Is Saying “Yes” Too Often a Spiritual Problem?

Most people don’t struggle with boundaries because they don’t care. They struggle because they care deeply. They love the people they serve. They believe the work matters. And somewhere along the way, saying yes starts to feel like the most faithful response available.

Over time, though, something subtle happens. “Yes” becomes automatic. “No” starts to feel wrong. Responsibilities stack up. Margin quietly disappears. Rest gets postponed for later, even when later never really comes. What once felt like generosity slowly turns into exhaustion.

Scripture takes commitments seriously, not because God wants rigid lives, but because He cares about integrity and freedom.

“Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.”
Matthew 5:37 (ESV)

Jesus isn’t calling for bluntness here. He’s naming clarity. A life where words aren’t driven by fear, pressure, or the need to manage other people’s expectations. When yes and no lose clarity, something else has taken their place. Often it’s anxiety. Sometimes it’s approval-seeking. Sometimes it’s the belief that everything depends on us.

That belief is spiritually costly.

Chronic overcommitment doesn’t just drain energy. It shapes identity. Over time, people begin to believe their value is tied to availability. Faithfulness becomes measured by responsiveness. Saying no feels like letting God or others down, even when the body and soul are signaling real limits.

Scripture challenges that story directly.

In Exodus 18, Moses is doing everything himself. He’s leading, judging, solving problems, and carrying the emotional weight of an entire people. From the outside, it looks sacrificial. From God’s perspective, it’s unsustainable.

“What you are doing is not good… You will certainly wear yourselves out.”
Exodus 18:17–18 (ESV)

Jethro doesn’t accuse Moses of laziness or lack of devotion. He names the cost of unbounded responsibility. Without limits, Moses won’t just suffer personally. The people will suffer too. Delegation becomes an act of trust. Boundaries become a form of care.

Jesus embodies this same wisdom throughout His ministry. He doesn’t say yes to every request. He doesn’t heal every person who seeks Him. He doesn’t stay when the Father calls Him elsewhere. His obedience is shaped by calling, not demand.

Saying no isn’t a failure of love. Often, it’s an expression of faith. It’s a way of trusting that God is still at work in what we don’t carry.

Healthy boundaries don’t limit faithfulness. They protect it. When yes flows from discernment rather than pressure, service becomes sustainable again.